Move on.

I just hope my words will catch up will you. At last,it's good news. Im moving on. though it isn't the perfect word to describe this whole mess. still,thanks for all da memories. i'll never forget bout a single piece of them.but if in da future we can't met again. it fine with me. Guess my 5 years resolution ain't dat strong.

Fuck golok, saying im acting all girlie. frail, weakness. need a new pair of attitude afterward. people changes. even in some cases to the horror, still some people change for the better. some retreat not because they ain't strong. they just letting it go.

I wanna announce something, i will deactivate my dilapidated fb account..it just a swell of mess dat i dont care enuff to clean it up. catch me on twitter, (najibzailani). Once i get my DSLR, i'll back to my real purpose of blogging. Sharing little happiness of life with the dearest of my friends. :)

"You know I cant take one more step towards you,
cause all dat waiting is regret,
don't you know im not your ghost anymore. "

Christina Perri

Dream and Misunderstanding..

Hav u ever dreamt of someone that suppose to have no relationship with you?

but they suppose to be just a friend of urs..
but u dreamt of them ALOT.
how that suppose to mean then?
could it be they are someone important to you, yet you unconsciously not realizing it..
or, it just devil's play..
hahahaa. how such silly matter bugging me.
a thing for sure, this kind of uncertainty causing me major misunderstanding..
FUCK up for sure..
should i ignore it?

This is it.

So, this is it.
this is the feeling and i'm so overwhelmed by it.
hehehe..who knows that this day will really come by.
though it still very much like a dream,
when i used to feel awe by what Teacher Huda had told us.
of her marvelous journey in Victoria, New Zealand.
how i would then secretly put it on my wish list.
"tce, i wanna be just like you. i wanna go to those amazing places too.."

it feel just like days ago,
when those disappointing news, painfully cling to my dream.
such a pain in da ass.
JPA did'nt call me, either way, it means i'm stranded in UM.
i kind off succumb to the despair and start giving my heart to da uni.
i think, " its okay.i'll grow here.. there's still good fren by my side (it's Atin)."
and da new culture that higher institution always fool you,
those majestic, suffocating ambience..
that made you shiver the moment you step a toe inside its massive gate.
UM has it alrite.
just when i think all hope is gone,
there's the wake-up call..
never knew that KBU will open its stingy arm to embrace us.
and all of a sudden, im among da JPA students.

it sure feel like just a minute ago..
i'm having new frens. the one i vow to cherish,
to hold very dear to me.
such naivety back then..
for i was so young and immature.
a hatching in this sordid world.
asphyxiated by turbulent emotions..
i made mistakes, hurt people closest to me..
for a person to bear faith in you
i taint it. im ashamed. fill with sadness.
yet, i know a year is as good a blink of eyes.
i ended up putting a wall in between..
in hope when the year pass by,
i'll be able to put a smile, when they finally depart.for good.
how one shoud'nt cut a frenship ties..
for the wound will never clot. it will bled.
hahaha..never knew i'll trouble myself for da sake of other..
i dare put my study at stake,
how ungrateful lad can i be..
i admit, my college life were a trough in my life..
still what goes round, comes round..
i can achieve far better than what i got in da end.
screw those details. just an eye-sore.

it hell feels like it just a moment ago.
when God give me a second chance in life..
im flying. im living to my dream.
and just wait, what a miracle 5 years can be..

Hebatnya korg~

Sedar kah korg taun nih agak special skit drpd tahun2 yang sebelum ni? pasai pa?? bukan, bukan pasai tahun nih tahun babi, kita baru tahun arnab klu ikot kalender cino ya..kenapa kalender cina xde tahun kucin pon ak xtau? tp yg 2 x penting.x de kaitan pon. nak habaq mai pasal kisah tentang cinta dan hari jadi nya..

Nak dibuat alkisah, suma manusia punya cinta dlm hati. be it ur parents, ur cars, ur sports, ur money, ur clothes..ad byk yg kita cintai kt dlm dunia nih..hang kacau sikit, satg mengamuk satu kampung. lagi2 klu yang dicintai itu buah-hatinya..2 la jantung hati dia, dengutan nadi dia, udara utk bernafas dia..demi adinda, lautan berapi sanggup kekanda renangi(hg nak berenang kt NERAKA ka?? =.=)..2 la antara benda cayunk2 yang dah klasik tp x lekang dek zaman.

"You are my other half, You complete me." bertapa ayat ini benar, rata2 sume golongan yg sedang berpacaran tahu akn maklumat peribadi Si Dia umpama kamu kenal diri kamu sendiri..paling cikai pon korg mesti tau pasal b'day dier..such joyous day, who would'nt want to see their loved one, soak in ecstasy of happiness..to smile all day long.. ak pon nak. ad org lagi power, diorg boley hafal sume harijadi kawan2 dier. even yg mmg hide info dorg kt fb pon dier boley tau nak wish b'day biler. HEBAT! :) hehe..nih mmg dia 'cinta' sume kawan2 dia kot..baguih2..bukan dosa pon.. dpt pahala g..

Tapi nak tanya la skit hgpa ad dak member2 yg lahir tang 23 April 571?? Ad sape2 yg hafal ka?? awat, xde sapa kenal ka nih tarikh lahir sapa? OWH, ptot la..skrg nih org guna kalender orang putih..sapa g dok kalut pakai kalender islam..mmg la tarikh 12 Rabiul Awal ni tukar2 sikit..ala xde sapa perasan pon kaann..bukan nya penting nak igt..RASULULLAH bukannya boyfren kita pon..lagipun, im not single kay, im in a RELATIONSHIP with *tuttut*..sy nih dah 'berpunya'..buat apa jaga tepi kain ORG LAEN..kaaann??

Sebenarnya sgt sebak arini cause what i've said is basically what happen nowadays. peringatan utk diri sendiri dan org laen, sapa ja lah diri kita klu nak compare dgn RASULULLAH (S.A.W)..baginda itu kekasihnya tak lain tak bukan, Sang Pencinta, Al-Wadud itu sendiri..Cinta Allah itu paling Agung..tidakkah kita terasa bahawa cinta kita itu penuh hina?sepatutnya kita yang datang merangkak2 ingin mengemis, menangis, menagih cinta drpd RASULULLAH, Pemimpin kita, Imam kita..bukan Baginda yang patut bersusah-payah utk kekal dalam peredaran zaman, risau dikikis masa, hilang dari fikiran umatnya..

saya bertambah sebak kerana, para muslimin dan muslimat serata dunia termasuk saya, kesedaran dan cintanya pada Rasulullah hanya kekal untuk 1 HARI SAHAJA..we truly are an ignorant followers of the Prophet. We truly are being the number 1 hypocrite by posting "Salam Maulidur Rasul"..xde lah marah org post2 mcm 2..dpt pahala besar pon..mengingati junjungan besar.cuma harap tiap hari pon kita selawat ke atas nabi dan Ahlul Bait sekalian..semoga kita sentiasa abadikn Rasulullah dlm doa2 kita.. Amin3.


p/s: Hepi Birthday Rasulullah.. :):):):)

Skill Memasak Aku..

Awal2 dulu pernah terdetik nak mengasah bakat memasak ak yg mmg cambest ala2 Jamie Olliver gitu..nak berguru ngn x laen x bukan, dewa memasak mak ak.. then, ak pon mula lah bertapa dkt dapur dimana makanan yg sgt finger-licking-good disediakan. barulah ak tau yg nk melanjutkan PhD in Cooking nih sgt lah susah..hahaa..last2 ak sekadar puas hati ngn ijazah master yg mmg ak dah lama ad.. well, mama, dun have to worry..ank mak nih xkan mati kelaparan dkt oz nnti..antara hidangan specialties ak adalahhhh..jeng2:

1) Mee Goreng. nih ringan2 je..stok masak time boring2..


2) Burger Handmade punya..yg nih lak kira sarapan kebiasaan ak la..


3) Nih another dish for my breakfast, puurrrfect omelette..

4) toast..daaa..baby pon boley wat roti bakar cmnih..


5) okay, tk yg berat2 skit..ak slalo prepare speghatti, meatball 2 kacang aih..kawan2 yg nasib baek pernah r rasa spaghetti meatball ak time posa2 dulu..mmg sahuq yg terbaek time uh kan?



5) last2 skali, hidangan paling cikai lah..Ayam Goreennngggg..







p/s: bon apettite!! siot lapaq balik dah..hahaaha.. :P

Ouch!

Aku sgt terkesima bila tadi tgh lepak2 tgk tv, mak ak boley tanye, 'najib x ade girlfriend lg ke.....? '. f.y.i isu2 pasal girlfren/boifen nih sgt laa sensitif..nak tambah pedas skit, elok lah time 2 korg still sigle-mingle.. =.= dgn tamparan yg begitu dasyat, ak dgn penuh tawaduk nya jawab, 'mana ad lg ma, nnti lah crik dkt Geelong.' ini sume gara2, sepupu ak yg x smpi sebulan dah khawin, dah dpt berita baik,PREGNANT..x sia2 honeymoon dkt Bali..baby first night lah ni..hahaha.. maybe pas2 mak ak terpikir, biler la pulak ak nk dpt cucu..dush2..ma, najib study pon x habis lagi..

Berita uh rupanya memberi kesan yg lebey dlm..skrg ak tgh dok penin pasal status ak yg masih single nih.dlm kes ak yg kurng berpengalaman ber-cayunk2 dgn ramai gadis, mmg agak masalah r nak kasi satu pon sangkut dkt ak..so mcm agak baik klu ak dah mula try cuba merisik mana gadis yg berkenan di hati..masalah pon, x ramai yg menarik minat ak..chewah! mcm nk kata taste tinggi lah..tp mcm betul pon.hahaha..

Time2 mcm ni jugak la tetiba apa yg ustaz2 kt sekolah dok tazkirah dtg blik..nasihatlah yg couple itu mendekati zina, zina haram, so couple pon haram..dush.senang lak wat equation kan..tp rational nya dorg ckp bercinta stail islam, elok lepas khawin bru kita bermesra2, bermanja2, bersayang2..

Argghh!! last2 serabut otak ak.sal nk bina masjid nih besar tanggungjawab oi..larat ke ak nk pikul skrg nih..ilmu ap pon xde g..and kawan2 yg rapat ngn ak tau ap yg baru jadi dkt ak baru2 nih..with this recent state of mine, will i ever be able to get a girl..tayah ckp nk jadi mat jiwang2 ah, nak tackle sorg awek pon ak x tau still boley ke x?? arghhh..tensen2..

Mai deactivate~

Semenjak 2 menjak ni aku dah mula rase yg fb makin ngarut..n for once, ak rase yg fb nih hazardous, layak dikuarantin EPA (environment protection agency dlm citer simpsons). well, u guys had to agree with me dat facebook had long since become very boring..Hangat-Hangat Taik Ayam ja. awal2 dlu punya lah haram sampi 99 notifications, 2 pon sbb dah limit, klu x mau beratus2 gamaknye..komen-mengomen bagai nak rak..siap kalau satu post uh dpt ratus2 lbey komen, means ko HEBAT! but, no one realize how naive we were back then.i admit, it did help to nurture some new friendship..tapi itu pon okay klu member uh dkt2 sekeliling korg..nih tiba2 awek dari celah mana ntah add, tiba2 jadik secret admire, obses ngn korg..urgghh, sgtlah psiko..

Ad beberapa sbb fb nih akan mengundang bala kt korg:

1) fb membantutkn interaksi secara langsg. mmg betul.pernah x korg rasa time on9 punya lah rapat, serasi, bagai pinang dibelah 2 gitu..tapi, bila tiba2 jumpa face 2 face mula jadik cam robot..dan2 time uh kene parkinson..AWKWARD habis..hahaha..mesti ad atleast sekali. klu byk kali, mmg wajib ah korg cmpak fb korg jaoh2..napa jadi cmni??sbb dlm fb kita tgh pakai talam kt muka.kita tgh try nak jadi macho, nk try nmpk cool, smart n all crappy etc2 lah.in fact, none of that are ur real self.."that was ur mistake. u had become the way they wanted to see u. they should love you for what you are and not for what they wants you to be.if someone tries to change you,then it's not love but compromise, and darling, one does'nt compromise in love.right..??" (okey quote nih dri citer hindustan, tajuk crik sendiri :p)

2) fb merendahkn self-esteem korg..nih lg satu kurngnya fb..sbb korg boley ltk gambar berjuta2 dlm nih..nk jadik kn kes biler korg nih dah la x berapa nak kacak, nak tgk cermin pon takut2, segan2 pas2 member2 korg lak stok muka dak2 korea, bergaya kalah artis..pas2 korg pulak 'dewa' single, member2 korg lak cam belangkas, cayunk2 lah..mmg meremang tgk tp dier buat korg rse kurang produktif dan kurang kompetitif. wat korg rasa bakat mengayat dan dan menackle awek korg masih noob..dammnn..parut kt ego laki korg uh..hahaa..teruk x fb nih? pas2 tk gurls n laki gak ah, u never noe when ure being stalk by some pervert, horny, psycho crazy people.korg pon kn org jenis open-minded.x kesah ltak gmbar yg dedah2 skit..dan2 ad gmbr panas, dorg trus bwk masuk tandas..(gross kn, tp nih mmg ad yg jadik.true story)..private cne pon, klu dah secret admire, dorg akn ikhtiar gak..klu ad org random add korg uh ko pikir dorg saja tertekan butang 'add' 2 ke..so, nak selamat padam ja la fb uh..

3) ad org mati sbb farmville...jeng2..mmg citer nih mcm pernah dgar..'anak di rumah menangis dibiarkan, lembu di farmville jugak yg disusukan'. =.= fb menjahanamkn otak..membuatkn korg dok terperap kt depan lappy..mata kne gam dkt monitor..dgn bazir api, bazir masa nya..igt Allah buat dunia nih cntik2 besau2 suruh ko dok tecongong kt dlm bilik..allah suruh korg menikmati keindahan alam nih..live punya..ptg2 kuar, jog ke? maen bola ke? hirup udara segar skit..

sedap x sedap, dah panjg berjela lak post nih..akhir kata, x nk padam fb pon x pe je..but use it wisely and not excessively..in case nk share info2 penting ke??cam nk crik accommodation kt Geelong nnti, :P..2 pon act ade je cara laen..skype, ym suma..sng2 korg met up ja..mcm ak ngn haris uh umah dkt ja pon..gedik2 lak nk gne fb nk contct..terajang kang..hahahaha..SALAM.