O.o

I keep getting dreams about someone, and just why is that? sighh..how i hope someone could ditch me an answer to this uncertainty.it freaking mess up with me.in the end of the day, i still know nothing. so dear rusty brain, stop doing those pre-concious messages via things like DREAM.

' E N C O R E '

Bravo. sometimes i just feel like da world being very unfair to me. it's not nice to maim my every aspects of life. there's not a single thing i truly feel contended having. having shitty friends that make you even sulkier..yeah, i agree with you. lets us hurried find a place to settle down.never realize that i'm on the verge of rebuke. maybe i should just announce it to the whole world. just call me 'keling' the next time you saw me. i'm dead serious.. matter fact, my granpa did come from INDIA. so, it's in da blood. i'm made by God, pitch black. i'm very sorry though for not being as fair as u peeps..dont know colour scheme are part of the requirement for making friends..maybe being black is da same as being ugly..who would dare to be seen in daylight walking with someone ugly.. so, that's why i have really few good friend. fuck discrimination. as that is not enuff, my physique is far-fetched from being a man. it left me with no charm of whatsoever. prove of how loser am i at attracting women..up to da point dat sometimes i just dont care to even try..hehe..just how screwed i could be? .. yeah, there's a saying ' every man hunger for love, we get pulled wherever we find love'. it's true. but still, life denied me from being passionate..

its never everyone faults. they don't know the whole story. the problem is, they can never will.so......if u just happen to read this crap post, i'll kindly ask you to just forget bout it. just MYOB.

LOL.

dont know how ? dont know why ?
just feels like my mood been sync with the existence of my new DSLR.
since i basically still dunt have it in my possession.
my mood would also linger on.
my mind, heart and soul been completely shut from the rest of the world.
kinda funny though.
to being drew to every emotional songs, and having it tuned whole day long..
they resonated too strong. feels like it was made for you.
such depressing nuisance.
what being funnier is that i wont keep the feeling caged out..
couldn't afford any of my mate to sniff my invulnerability..
hahaha..ironic for me to care much of a man's pride.

so yeah..

my advisor would prescript me with some plz-dunt-emo talks though.
but you dont get the chance to bask in sorrow and despair all the time.
so would be better if i just enjoy the ride..
join me if you want. HAHA.

Move on.

I just hope my words will catch up will you. At last,it's good news. Im moving on. though it isn't the perfect word to describe this whole mess. still,thanks for all da memories. i'll never forget bout a single piece of them.but if in da future we can't met again. it fine with me. Guess my 5 years resolution ain't dat strong.

Fuck golok, saying im acting all girlie. frail, weakness. need a new pair of attitude afterward. people changes. even in some cases to the horror, still some people change for the better. some retreat not because they ain't strong. they just letting it go.

I wanna announce something, i will deactivate my dilapidated fb account..it just a swell of mess dat i dont care enuff to clean it up. catch me on twitter, (najibzailani). Once i get my DSLR, i'll back to my real purpose of blogging. Sharing little happiness of life with the dearest of my friends. :)

"You know I cant take one more step towards you,
cause all dat waiting is regret,
don't you know im not your ghost anymore. "

Christina Perri

Dream and Misunderstanding..

Hav u ever dreamt of someone that suppose to have no relationship with you?

but they suppose to be just a friend of urs..
but u dreamt of them ALOT.
how that suppose to mean then?
could it be they are someone important to you, yet you unconsciously not realizing it..
or, it just devil's play..
hahahaa. how such silly matter bugging me.
a thing for sure, this kind of uncertainty causing me major misunderstanding..
FUCK up for sure..
should i ignore it?

This is it.

So, this is it.
this is the feeling and i'm so overwhelmed by it.
hehehe..who knows that this day will really come by.
though it still very much like a dream,
when i used to feel awe by what Teacher Huda had told us.
of her marvelous journey in Victoria, New Zealand.
how i would then secretly put it on my wish list.
"tce, i wanna be just like you. i wanna go to those amazing places too.."

it feel just like days ago,
when those disappointing news, painfully cling to my dream.
such a pain in da ass.
JPA did'nt call me, either way, it means i'm stranded in UM.
i kind off succumb to the despair and start giving my heart to da uni.
i think, " its okay.i'll grow here.. there's still good fren by my side (it's Atin)."
and da new culture that higher institution always fool you,
those majestic, suffocating ambience..
that made you shiver the moment you step a toe inside its massive gate.
UM has it alrite.
just when i think all hope is gone,
there's the wake-up call..
never knew that KBU will open its stingy arm to embrace us.
and all of a sudden, im among da JPA students.

it sure feel like just a minute ago..
i'm having new frens. the one i vow to cherish,
to hold very dear to me.
such naivety back then..
for i was so young and immature.
a hatching in this sordid world.
asphyxiated by turbulent emotions..
i made mistakes, hurt people closest to me..
for a person to bear faith in you
i taint it. im ashamed. fill with sadness.
yet, i know a year is as good a blink of eyes.
i ended up putting a wall in between..
in hope when the year pass by,
i'll be able to put a smile, when they finally depart.for good.
how one shoud'nt cut a frenship ties..
for the wound will never clot. it will bled.
hahaha..never knew i'll trouble myself for da sake of other..
i dare put my study at stake,
how ungrateful lad can i be..
i admit, my college life were a trough in my life..
still what goes round, comes round..
i can achieve far better than what i got in da end.
screw those details. just an eye-sore.

it hell feels like it just a moment ago.
when God give me a second chance in life..
im flying. im living to my dream.
and just wait, what a miracle 5 years can be..

Hebatnya korg~

Sedar kah korg taun nih agak special skit drpd tahun2 yang sebelum ni? pasai pa?? bukan, bukan pasai tahun nih tahun babi, kita baru tahun arnab klu ikot kalender cino ya..kenapa kalender cina xde tahun kucin pon ak xtau? tp yg 2 x penting.x de kaitan pon. nak habaq mai pasal kisah tentang cinta dan hari jadi nya..

Nak dibuat alkisah, suma manusia punya cinta dlm hati. be it ur parents, ur cars, ur sports, ur money, ur clothes..ad byk yg kita cintai kt dlm dunia nih..hang kacau sikit, satg mengamuk satu kampung. lagi2 klu yang dicintai itu buah-hatinya..2 la jantung hati dia, dengutan nadi dia, udara utk bernafas dia..demi adinda, lautan berapi sanggup kekanda renangi(hg nak berenang kt NERAKA ka?? =.=)..2 la antara benda cayunk2 yang dah klasik tp x lekang dek zaman.

"You are my other half, You complete me." bertapa ayat ini benar, rata2 sume golongan yg sedang berpacaran tahu akn maklumat peribadi Si Dia umpama kamu kenal diri kamu sendiri..paling cikai pon korg mesti tau pasal b'day dier..such joyous day, who would'nt want to see their loved one, soak in ecstasy of happiness..to smile all day long.. ak pon nak. ad org lagi power, diorg boley hafal sume harijadi kawan2 dier. even yg mmg hide info dorg kt fb pon dier boley tau nak wish b'day biler. HEBAT! :) hehe..nih mmg dia 'cinta' sume kawan2 dia kot..baguih2..bukan dosa pon.. dpt pahala g..

Tapi nak tanya la skit hgpa ad dak member2 yg lahir tang 23 April 571?? Ad sape2 yg hafal ka?? awat, xde sapa kenal ka nih tarikh lahir sapa? OWH, ptot la..skrg nih org guna kalender orang putih..sapa g dok kalut pakai kalender islam..mmg la tarikh 12 Rabiul Awal ni tukar2 sikit..ala xde sapa perasan pon kaann..bukan nya penting nak igt..RASULULLAH bukannya boyfren kita pon..lagipun, im not single kay, im in a RELATIONSHIP with *tuttut*..sy nih dah 'berpunya'..buat apa jaga tepi kain ORG LAEN..kaaann??

Sebenarnya sgt sebak arini cause what i've said is basically what happen nowadays. peringatan utk diri sendiri dan org laen, sapa ja lah diri kita klu nak compare dgn RASULULLAH (S.A.W)..baginda itu kekasihnya tak lain tak bukan, Sang Pencinta, Al-Wadud itu sendiri..Cinta Allah itu paling Agung..tidakkah kita terasa bahawa cinta kita itu penuh hina?sepatutnya kita yang datang merangkak2 ingin mengemis, menangis, menagih cinta drpd RASULULLAH, Pemimpin kita, Imam kita..bukan Baginda yang patut bersusah-payah utk kekal dalam peredaran zaman, risau dikikis masa, hilang dari fikiran umatnya..

saya bertambah sebak kerana, para muslimin dan muslimat serata dunia termasuk saya, kesedaran dan cintanya pada Rasulullah hanya kekal untuk 1 HARI SAHAJA..we truly are an ignorant followers of the Prophet. We truly are being the number 1 hypocrite by posting "Salam Maulidur Rasul"..xde lah marah org post2 mcm 2..dpt pahala besar pon..mengingati junjungan besar.cuma harap tiap hari pon kita selawat ke atas nabi dan Ahlul Bait sekalian..semoga kita sentiasa abadikn Rasulullah dlm doa2 kita.. Amin3.


p/s: Hepi Birthday Rasulullah.. :):):):)